Workplace Drama Enthusiast Gifts

"I want that employee motivation study by Friday or you're sacked."

"I don't just stop being your co-pilot when the plane lands, Roger."

"There's far too much hanky panky in this office. And I'm not having it!"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

'The staff is getting slack Simkins - mention the word 'redundancy'.'

'... and sign it 'shovingly up yours'.'

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.

"Bad news. I've been fired! I was mouthing silent obscenities at the boss and forgot we don't wear masks at work anymore."

Inbox, Outbox, and Down & Out Box.

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

'Just for the minutes did anyone manage to catch the chairman's parting words?'