Workplace Competitor Pillows

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

The Victors

Mixed Doubles.

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"I make it a point to hire people smarter than me."

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

Run, Mike, Run!

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

'Not my short list, O'Neil! You're on my other list!

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

Fight on the top

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

The Rivalry Begins

Loser's Podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Make no mistake Wetherall, it's a jungle out there.'

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

Company Performance - Bonus Scheme

"And yet that's exactly what I'd like to be doing."

'This information is on a need-to-screw-others basis.'

"Very well, Carter, you've proven my theory faulty—let it go at that!"

"My family clapped louder than your family!"

Employee of the Month - male.