Workplace Awareness Gifts

'Miss McGalaughterville, sorry to bother You, but I made the list of all the women I intend to sleep with and I'd like You to take look and see if I wrote down Your name correctly...'

'Little touches can make a big difference at the workplace. I finally told him to keep his hands to himself.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

National Everything Awareness Day

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

InIn by-products.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

International Women's Day: End Violence Against Women!

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!