Workplace Avenger Pillows

Business Widow's Revenge

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.