Workout Updater Gifts

Exercising

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Gym Dog

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

Body Building Mishap

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

Sport in library

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

Woman and sport trainer

"You exercise with your phone?"

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

'This is a solo number if you don't mind.'

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

Man on cycling machine being chased by a dog on a running machine.

"Scoot over. I could use a workout too."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

Body weight app on mobile

'I think we better get started on that other arm.'

Sports and new technologies

'Good mornin' Ruth!'

"Definitely time for an upgrade."

"Thank goodness I was getting my share prices confused with my resting heart rate."

"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."

"You know those annoying couples who jog together? That's us."