Working Parent Life Gifts

"They can't see you right now - would you like a bottle while you're waiting?"

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Supermom.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Balancing work and family

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'Save us!'

"First break since 2008."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"You take care of the kids, you do the housework and you have a full-time job for which you warn less than a man who does the same? Respect... I can only fly and knock down scoundrels..."

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"I'm right here. Focused!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."