Working In Unique Occupations T-Shirts

'Here, every shift is the graveyard shift, Collins.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

Office Park

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

'What training do I get?'

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

Teddy Bears for all trades

' You misread the ad,I'm looking for a light-weight engine.'

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

'I could do that!'

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

'First time, is it?'

There's not a lot of call for 'serial' kid.

'I make Swiss army knives.'

"He's non union. He works days as a hunter, and nights as a gatherer."

'And what do you do for a living Richard?' 'I'm a Lightning Conductor.'

"This is Gerald - he puts on the rubber bands."

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

'If at first you don't succeed...have you ever thought of becoming a personnel officer?'

"I can't imagine where I'd be today if it hadn't been for my high-school guidance counselor."

Donut Ho

"How did a guy like you ever get into a business like this?"

'We don't have much at the moment for pimps.'

Shoe shine 1$. (Giant shoe appearing round corner.'