Unusual Jobs T-Shirts

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Office Park

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'My resume,...in rap form!'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'How much for you to do my tax return?'

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

You are what you collect.

What sort of job are you after?

'I could do that!'

"What's your biggest weakness?"

A sign you're not applying at a fortune 500 company...

"I think we can take him off the shortlist."

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."

Lester P. Dunwoody. A mysteriously happy square peg in a round hole that none of us can figure out.

Candidates for Water Divining

There's not a lot of call for 'serial' kid.

'I make Swiss army knives.'

'I'm looking for a temp job to fill the gap between my indictment and incarceration.'

'And what do you do for a living Richard?' 'I'm a Lightning Conductor.'

"This is Gerald - he puts on the rubber bands."

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

Donut Ho

"I can't imagine where I'd be today if it hadn't been for my high-school guidance counselor."

"I'm thinking of forming a cult, Doreen."

'It has put a bit of strain on the marriage, to be honest, his career as 'the human fly'.'

'I wish you would go back to training elephants , Otto !'

'Here, every shift is the graveyard shift, Collins.'

I'm looking for a job that starts late afternoon.