Unique Job Perks T-Shirts

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

'It hasn't gone unnoticed by management how much extra time you've been spending in the office...so here's a bill to repay the electricity you've used.'

Employee of the Month - male.

"Apparently you've come to somebody's attention."

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

'The firm provides every new executive with a personal trainer.'

Christmas bonus

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'I could do that!'

"I couldn't get you a raise but I did get you a taller chair."

'I don't understand how the Americans are getting away with all these lateral hires.'

"Sometimes I wish you had taken that job in New York."

Lil's Yoga: Now Hiring All Positions

"Working here includes some pretty sweet perks."

Chester sat quietly as he enjoyed one of the perks that came with his job.

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

'...and we offer a limited dental plan: uppers or lowers?'

Donut Ho

"I can't imagine where I'd be today if it hadn't been for my high-school guidance counselor."

Companies introduce 'Al Fresco' dining to improve employee productivity.

'My job is ruining my family life, harming my health and destroying my self-respect.. but I can't quit and give up a great expense account.'

While the firm doesn't offer company cars, we'd like you to have this photo of the car you would get if we did.

'Here, every shift is the graveyard shift, Collins.'

'Don't ask him about our dental plan.'