Working-class Stories Gifts

'Jeez, Shirley will be mad at me... There's a spot on my jacket!'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

Tic-tac-toe

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

The blue-collar diner for white-collar people...

War and Peace GIF

Defence Cuts: 'This is getting serious Sergeant, bring up the re-enforcements!'

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

Sweet Jailbreak

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

'Miss Walker, bring a new pair of underpants right this minute!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Financial Bailout Required.

Curate talking to miners

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"I understand that you've been demanding more vacation time. . . so we've decided to let you have the rest of your life off."

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

"I'm looking for a good old-fashioned housemaid - the kind that screams when discovering a dead body."

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

Two Soldiers and a Navvy.

"And to add insult to injury, the CEO fired me in a sticky note."

Boarding House Kitchen

'My boss took a pre-emtive strike... he fired me!'

'You know I felt pretty confident until I saw that sign... I mean, didn't we really get whupped in that fight?'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'Brewers Men'