Working Gifts

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

8 AM in the sleeper elevator car

"So if you don't mind, I'll just go ahead and read out each slide word for word in a droning monotone until you all yearn for the sweet release of death."

"I hear you worked so many hours you passed out for 20 minutes. I just thought I'd make it clear that I'm not paying you for those 20 minutes."

'and I suppose you'll be working again this Christmas?'

Happiness is just around the corner...work harder, earn more money, buy more things...

While experts remain at odds over the issue of when life begins, most agree it's sometime after work.

"You mean all those part time, temporary, no-benefits employees quit??? Where's that old fashioned company loyalty?"

'Of course I can't ask your age during the interview, but see if you remember this song.'

"I'm right here. Focused!"

'Miss Frimley, do I take sugar'

Worker sees clock which says: In case of impossible deadline, break glass.

You'll see, Chet; sales will pick up as soon as this whole Internet fad blows over.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'I don't care how young it makes you feel. You work here, you carry a briefcase.'

Clients who show up early for an appointment are really annoying ??" especially when you work from home.

Lunch break.

"You were 3 minutes late for work today, Jennings. Bruno here, my office manager, doesn't like it when employees are late for work."

"No need to rush. Take all weekend if you must."

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureacracy."

Workaholic on the beach

'You need to relax...take some time off... enjoy yourself...be back in 10 minutes... get this report done.'

'I didn't just jump to conclusions. I hopped and skipped first.'

Office slaves.

"I think he's just going through the motions."

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

'Sweetie, when we leave you every day with Sarah, we're doing it for you. That way we can have successful careers, and you can be proud of us.'

'We're allowed to be individuals here - look, there's a menu of three personality types to choose from.'

"I'd like to work overtime til the kids are back in school."

Man running in a hamster wheel

'I've noticed that I haven't seen you use your computer since they shut Napster down.'

"I could really get ahead at my two jobs if it weren't for that five letter vice I crave...SLEEP."

"It was tough at first. Now I hardly ever get the urge to check my e-mail."

'I thought you'd be better at multitasking.'