Work-life Wizard Gifts

The perils of overwork.

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

"I've been to the office..."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

Working Late

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

'What do you mean...You feel uncomfortable asking for time off?'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Balancing Family and Work

"You've all been working very hard lately, and you deserve some time off. I'm giving you all a two-day membership to time-off.com."

Welsh practice launches formal objection to 'unmanageable' new housing.

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

"Now we'll just need a vaccine for soul-destroying expectations, crushing workloads and the debilitating effects of 28-hour days..."

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'Little has changed since you called saying you had to work overtime. Except John Wayne died. Oh, and there's a new thing called the 'Internet'.'

"Would you like to hear about our retirement plan?"

Work/Personal Life Balance Beam

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

A Transformer for grownups

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

The other digital divide.

'Anybody who has a life, gets more work.'

"I don't think we can put off dealing with 'presenteeism' any longer."

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'Remember, Preston, all work and no play make you employed.'