Work-from-home Humorist Pillows

Day 1 To Corona. . .

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"I'm working from home today."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Advertising on the internet.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

Facebook For Dogs.

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

'You'll get a promotion when hell freezes over.'

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

Happy Brithday