Work-from-home Comedic Observer Pillows

'I asked if I could work from home.'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

'Yes, can I help you?'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I've got an exciting new assignment for you. You're going to share one salary.'

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"Ziegler, I'm transferring you out of the energy commission!"

'I'm on the way to a meeting. Go back to whatever you weren't doing.'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

'I talk the talk but I don't walk the walk.'

'I have to make your life miserable. I'm in management.'

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

"Don't even think about it."

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

"And if you do any work, put it here."

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

"...I'm not sure what kind, but I'm certain that you are some kind of an idiot."

'Oh, I've already found a natural born leader. Now I'm looking for someone to follow blindly.'

'Could I call you back, I'm right in the middle of interviews.'

'I'll give you this, Henderson - you're no worse than anyone else.'

'I'm overpaying you, but you're worth it.'

'We run an impressive wage disparity scheme here.'

'I may scream at you occasionally. Pay no attention. I may rant and rave...pay no attention...I may even fire you occasionally. PAY ATTENTION!'

'Does that mean you found a new job, Hirshenson?'

'Even the temp was promoted over me.'

'The empowerment training was a mistake. Everyone quit.'

'Let me rephrase that. Go home and sleep on it.'