Work Ethics Warrior Gifts

Quit Staring Here, And Get Back To Work!

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Others will fight for you

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Back to work...

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"I can carry more pollen back to the hive that way..."

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

Peacock of Productivity

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"Do you have any working capital?"

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

"You say priorities, I hear suggestions."

"Oh come on, Dave! You know you're not supposed to come to work if you're sick."

"It's a full-blown empathy attack!. . . help me sneak him out of here before this thing spreads through the entire company!"

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Our staff here at the practice believe in 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration, so I had these showers installed."

'Memo to the wife...'

"He said it's all about holding on to tradition while embracing the future. I told him to keep his hands to himself."

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

"There's such a thing as being TOO conscientious, Miller!"

Job Bored

Back to Work

"I was in the office an hour early this morning."