Work Ethic Warrior Gifts

Back to work...

"Do you have any working capital?"

110% Job Performance.

'You'll never get anywhere in life with a diligent attitude like that!'

'That's what I like about you, Abrams, you don't let a little illness keep you off the job.'

'He applies himself but nothing ever seems to stick to him.'

Genius in a Bottle.

"Just put down you've been a busy bee. It's beneath the Queen to check timesheets anyway..."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Low-Energy Drinks

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Working Late

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Laptop Dancing.

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."