Wordsmiths Who Plot Gifts

Venus Perjury Trap

Campaign for Plain English

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Ruddy bloggers!

'He was a great writer'

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Jorge Luis Borges

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

"Swing me with your words."

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

"Caption contest"

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Book publishing.

Accountant Manqué

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

Weapens of Mass Instruction

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"