Wordsmiths Who Love A Good Hair Pun Pillows

"Oops. Uh-oh. Cripes."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Operation Chrome Dome.

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

You're Out Of Order

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Weather forecast

"Your four-o'clock is here."

'Just the usual, thanks.'

"Huston, we have a bad hairday problem!"

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

'I have a proceeding hairline. It runs in my family. . .'

'I can't come out and play because I'm in 'Time-Out.' Although here at Grandma's it's more like 'Time-Out Lite.' '

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

'There's a gentleman here for a cleaning, Doctor. It's unclear whose.'

"His schlock has gravitas."

Michelangelo's less-celebrated follow-up, 'Dan'.

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

Mutant Moontunes - Fringeless Nigel

"I wrote you a poem about how much I want to sh*g you!"