Wordsmith Warden Gifts

'I have great hopes for my next alibi -- I'm taking a creative writing course.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

"She's been so creative lately."

First Novels.

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Cut Price

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Backfire

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'