Word Puzzle Lover Pillows

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

Vision Test

'Alphabet soup. This isn't nutrition. It's education.'

Can You Spot the Differences?

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Vlad the Inhaler

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"It feels good to unwind..."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Rap music

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Fishing for complements

"He gets easily abstracted."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Did you just do a rooster?"