Woof-worthy Entertainer T-Shirts

'You're having antoher doggie treat party, right?'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Extreme miming"

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Drunken singers in a public house

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

Off Off Off Off Broadway

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Candy Corn Dracula

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

'Nice Touch!'

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

Adult Magician

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

A cocktail in a tuba

Pollution Free Cocktail Cabinet

'You need to slow down - use more color.'

"No, actually the viola is played more like this."

Home Video

Punch has a smoking break.

Flamo the Fire Eater offering light to female bar patron

Ventriloquists dummy

"I don't think air guitar counts."

"I'll draw them out with the cheese platter, but it's up to you to entertain them."

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

'When the alarm clock went off this morning, he said 'I'll drink to that.''

The Imperfect Hostess