Woodsmith Gifts

'It says this one giant redwood would be able to produce enough lumber to build 25 single-family foreclosures...'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Thru versus Through Traffic

Torturing the English Language

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

Edgar Allen Poe

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Backfire

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Cut Price

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

Rocking horse

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion