Woodsmith Gifts

'It says this one giant redwood would be able to produce enough lumber to build 25 single-family foreclosures...'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"She's been so creative lately."

First Novels.

"Do me next."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Backfire

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Cut Price

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Tool Box

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Rocking horse

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.