Woodsman Activities Pillows

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Lovely dovetail."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Love is when you watch television together.

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Belief and Trust.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Today, son, you are a man."

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

Nick Offerman

"Most projects require three hands."

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Naked Furniture

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Bob's a tool belt."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

D.I.Y SUCKS!