Woods Wanderers Gifts

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Not that net!'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

Sausages.

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Sport Utility Boot.

"Trail mix?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

"I brought cocoa."

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.