Woodland Romantics T-Shirts

'Stop it - you know I can't resist that mating call thing!'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"I brought cocoa."

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

Tree Funeral

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

We have to stop surprising each other.

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Hold up, little dude. I wouldn't go in there yet if I were you."

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"