Woodland Humor Lover Pillows

"Wanna swap lunch? My wife packed me birch again..."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

Board Meeting

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Close, but no cigar!

Nice six-pack!

'Got any cud flavour?'

"Fire down."

"Fake."

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

Clancy Strip: Out of Business

"No, I'm afraid I don't know how much wood a woodchuck could chuck." "We're beavers."

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

I'm a Smart-Cow!

'It's got all the original features.'

"This looks like a job for Agman!"

'Sure, the farmer always shouts or whistles at me, but deep down, he's a softy...'

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

Oooh! That's handy (Pulling draw out of chest).

I don't care if going straight is quicker - next time we go around.

"We need any eggs?"

Well, I'm glad the tumble drier broke, actually!