Woodland Bankers T-Shirts

'You've been approved for your loan, Mr. Root. We'd like to hold your nuts as collateral.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I brought cocoa."

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Tree Funeral

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Saving for Retirement.

We have to stop surprising each other.

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Hold up, little dude. I wouldn't go in there yet if I were you."

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).