Woodland Banker T-Shirts

Saving for Retirement.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"I brought cocoa."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Tree Funeral

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

We have to stop surprising each other.

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Hold up, little dude. I wouldn't go in there yet if I were you."

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

Tree collapse...