Wooden Leg Aficionado Mugs

Pirate's beaver problems,

"Man's best friends."

D.I.Y

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'Did they deliver the new couch today?'

The Piano Dreams Of Home

"Well I have to go, my ride is here."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

The Deer of Spring.

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

'Frank, I think it's about time you bought another pair of boots.'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"Great tights!"

"It may not be resplendent, Your Highness, but it's totally ergonomic."

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'

Pizza Delivery Delays

'We do like the children to have wooden toys.'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

"Who let the dining-room set into the liquor cabinet again?"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'I ran into a whittler.'