Wok Cooking Wonder Gifts

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Children's Feast.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Horn of Leftovers

Baloneystini

All-Candy Seder.

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Picasso

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

Onion Guillotine

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

Wife at breakfast: 'We're out of sugar - how about chocolate milk on your cereal?'

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

"Well, make up your mind! Does it suck or is it cool?"

'Great crisps.' 'Yes, they're old cornflakes and salt.'

Clandestine Cuisine

Cooks

Pizza, the CD

'Hoopla!'

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

Regular/Organic Cauldrons.

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

The slow cooker changed everything

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

'I want my stir fry to be magical.'

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'