Witty Workout Nerd Pillows

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Keep Fit.

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

Check out my six pack.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"Be nice to people climbing the wall, because you'll meet them again rappelling down."

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

'...Or, in layman's terms, Ay caramba!'

'Like it'll do any good.'

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

attorney at law

"How's your exercise class going?"

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

"I'm suing my scales manufacturer for slander!"

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

home fitness/fatness

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

Davy Crocket power walks into history.

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

Broadband developments

Phone buff.

'The only exercise I'm getting is when I run amok.'

Clancy: Forthright Opinions

"My exercise routine is to change channels every time there's a an ad about junk food."