Witty Wordplay Admirer Gifts

"Promise me that you'll donate my body to banana bread."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Please Drove Carefully.

Punt Cake

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

AA Meeting Here Today

Cake Free Zone

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Nuts to you, too."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Privates Beach"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."