Witty Fitness Fans Gifts

Man denies seeing two men when he is asked.

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

Health

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

Brawnstorming session.

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

'Keep fit.'

'Okay. . . five more! Spring forward! Fall back.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'