Witty Driver Pillows

'We'd like a GPS device that would direct us to affordable gas.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Actually the salary isn't important. . . I just need a desk to rest my feet on."

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Ducks crossing.

SCUBER

Driving home for Christmas.

"Mr. Berkowitz, I and my Jewish career counselor, hereby wish you a mazel tov on your birthday."

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'I've been glamped!'

I brake for elves.

'Every Hallowe'en barbeque he goes way over the top!'

"Probably shouldn't have finished off the saltines."

'To hell with high gas prices!'

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

Lanard, Bonwell, Wilson & Brockman: Based on the standup comedy of Steve Lanard

"There are no targets, dear. You've been dying too many drones today."

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Detour 50c.

'I'm afraid your Unique Selling Point isn't pointy enough.'

'Step on it Jarvis...I have a 10.30 appointment.'

"You're going pretty fast, Grandpa."

Crash test dummy standing by his car.A sign on it says 'My other car is a write off'.

Bug on the windshield.

Caution- Watch Out For Drool.

"I want to be ready in case there's an emergency."