Witty Driver Pillows

'We'd like a GPS device that would direct us to affordable gas.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Actually the salary isn't important. . . I just need a desk to rest my feet on."

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

SCUBER

Ducks crossing.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

Driving home for Christmas.

"Mr. Berkowitz, I and my Jewish career counselor, hereby wish you a mazel tov on your birthday."

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'I've been glamped!'

I brake for elves.

'Every Hallowe'en barbeque he goes way over the top!'

"Probably shouldn't have finished off the saltines."

'To hell with high gas prices!'

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

Lanard, Bonwell, Wilson & Brockman: Based on the standup comedy of Steve Lanard

"There are no targets, dear. You've been dying too many drones today."

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Detour 50c.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

'I'm afraid your Unique Selling Point isn't pointy enough.'

Crash test dummy standing by his car.A sign on it says 'My other car is a write off'.

'Step on it Jarvis...I have a 10.30 appointment.'

"You're going pretty fast, Grandpa."

Bug on the windshield.

Caution- Watch Out For Drool.