Witty Comment Enthusiast Pillows

"Look Tom, I love your pithy take on pop culture, it's just the rest of you that I despise."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Touché"

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"I love this time of year."

Beggar tosses money to the 1%.

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

A lesson in wit

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"Social distancing has really changed things at the office. In some ways it's really improved relationships with colleagues. For instance..."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

Spiv

"I work all winter on my beach body, and everyone still stares at you!"

Know-it-alls

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

People want as much government as they deserve.

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

Ever Wonder Why 37& of Americans Prefer Socialism?

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

If I may paraphrase an old saying, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to urinate like racehorses." ! !

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"