Witty Comeback Artist Pillows

Inattentive Boy

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

Picasso's brew period.

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

One Way/Two Ways.

Mechanics price list.

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

"Back when we were in college, and occasionally sleeping together, I never thought I'd be here, toasting you at your wedding to a woman."

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

"You've put on weight."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display

"Try splashing me now."

"I'll draw them out with the cheese platter, but it's up to you to entertain them."

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

A Women Out For A Walk With Her Children.

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

"He killed in rehab."

'Every Hallowe'en barbeque he goes way over the top!'

"I'd like something profound, witty, and outrageously irreverent."

'He was our top salesman. We hope that one day, he will be again.'

'I have nothing to declare but my genius!'