Witty Artist Pillows

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Picasso's brew period.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Bed Spread"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"I love these old decorations!"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Whose the new guy?"

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

You trip on it, you buy it.

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Male On Sunday

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

Bell Hop

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

You're Out Of Order

Change Of Heart

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

"High Fashion"