Witchy Critic Gifts

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

'One eye of newt or two?'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Devi's brew?"

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Witches Checkout.

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Fear of Flying Seminar

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

Halloween sculptor

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

"Francine, you're a rebel!"

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

"If you want to burn as a witch, be my guest, but I'm wearing sunscreen."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'So what if she only brew a few cases a year. We can still do business.'

Mom's Mortuary

Eye of Newt Helper

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

Sucking Up to Gen X

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

'Yes, we do serve children, but not as meals.'

Self Love Witch

Witches' Restaurant.

Your big end has gone

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

In-flight entertainment

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"