Witchcraft Dabbler T-Shirts

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

My first mistake.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

"It's a recipe for self-care."

'Got anything with a dual muffler?'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

'Hepzibah, I'm getting out There's just no money in being a witch.'

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'It's just a first draft.'

'Awhile back I wouldn't tell what I read. I'm ready now...I read Tea Leaves.'

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

Despite their best efforts Hell's scientists were never able to break the scorn barrier,

Toy boat on a tsunami.

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"

I accidently deleted my hard drive, but it's okay. All the important stuff is on the refrigerator anyway.

DANGER - hook and worm...!