Modern Witchcraft Dabbler T-Shirts

"It's a recipe for self-care."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

"Lately, I've thinking about getting a motorcycle ... "

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Texting hexes is such a time saver!"

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

Wiccapedia.

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

"No, it's a single ingredient - baby carrots."

"I'm hexting."

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

Witch Online

"I'm just stating if a watched pot never boils, we could go finish the 5 minutes left of Handmaid's tale."

"Fly over to the Grand Union and bring back the produce manager's tongue."

"Student witch"

"Excuse me but you've got a bit of child's finger stuck between your teeth."

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

'I just got a hex message from Zelda.'

"They have Toil, but Trouble is out of stock."

"Is there a vegan substitute for eye of newt?"

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

'Forget tradition! This thing can boil eye of newt in 15 seconds!'

"Probably texting."