Dice Dabbler T-Shirts

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Socially distanced sledding

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

My first mistake.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

'What was the question?'

Biolab. I put collie DNA into a shark. I got a fish that still bites --- but then it goes for help.

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

U R Here

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

A knitter's in and out boxes

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

Dr. Reynolds finally realizes what he puts his patients through as he and his wife look at paint swatches.

Caveman Basketball

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'