Wit Over Weaponry Enthusiast Pillows

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

Progress?

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

'Don't tell anyone I asked... but why don't we have muskets?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Ancient Weapons

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

During a round of throwing stuff the boomerang emerges.

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

"...and this so-called 'Death Ray' of Doctor Fate's is no more than a blatant rip-off of Professor Von Doom's Extinction Beam."

Fox Holes

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

'Kicks a little.'

'What do you mean you don't rent helicopters?' (Santa shot all his reindeer)

Big car with machine gun poking through window, bumper sticker reads: Yardie on board.

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"

Archer firmly holding an arrow and firing himself from a bow.

A Crossbow

'It's a steal once you realise what a negotiated settlement costs.'

'It's almost unfair. . . their swords aren't even pointy.'

'Em... Hang on a minute.'

'Can you teach us a move that can't be parried?'

Soldier holding a bazooka backwards.

Tank Tops.

'It appears to be a weapon, but how do we deploy it against our rivals.'