Wit And Banter Fan Prints

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A cheeky red?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

Loopholes

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

A lesson in wit

The Gilmore Girls

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Cold caller.

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

Know-it-alls

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

Sublime

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

Sheet Music