Wise Matriarchs Pillows

'You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool Mum.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

"Your're mum's well wicked."

'Don't come crying to me, son. I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you stayed out in the sun all day.'

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

"Mother, you were right."

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"Think of the campfire like your Grandmother - it deserves respect and constant attention."

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

Having a senior moment

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

'Hear no evil. See no evil. Do no evil'

'The secret of my old age? Simple - I haven't died yet!'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Remember anything recently?"

"Did I just give, or did I give wisely? That is the question."

'Mommy and Daddy have taken care of the high cost of private school tuition. The rest is up to you.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits, and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"It's about time! -- I ordered that last February!"

'Why spend $12 million on market research? I'll just ask my mom.'

Women at war - balancing work & family

"TIa Carmen, what would you do if you had your life to live over again?"

We need the help of the smartest people we know. Time to call my Mom.

Another one of life's artifacts best left alone - the proverbial can of worms.

"Oh excellent look...your mother made it too."

'Newburg must be getting close to retirement - he's not easy to intimidate anymore.'

'While you're young, your job is to download and store as much data as possible...one day, you'll realize that a very cool utility program called 'wisdom' has interlaces with your operating system...'