Wise Grandmother Pillows

Another one of life's artifacts best left alone - the proverbial can of worms.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Rock on Grandma!

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

'I'm sorry, we did all we could, but she had a severe case of curiosity.'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

Elderly tightrope walker.

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Did I just give, or did I give wisely? That is the question."

"I'm prescribing my mother for your insomnia. She'll call you tonight to talk about her grandchildren."

"If you had listened to me when you were twelve, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Why do you look very old, Grannie?"

'Why spend $12 million on market research? I'll just ask my mom.'

"Mom, when you want some privacy wear this. No one will come within 20 feet of you!"

How are my grandchildren? Ask them! They all live with me!

'Mom! Grandma is sneaking a smoke again!'

'Not only am I over the hill, I think I picked the wrong slope.'

"Like this, Tommy?"

"Before there was the Internet, Grandpa didn't know that he was right about everything."

Old man talking about how his attitude to politics has changed with age

'You never make the same mistake twice. You always come up with a new one.'

New Geriatric Aid.

'I like it when they're at the age where we can remember more than they can.'

God measures success by the weight of a heart- not a wallet.

'You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool Mum.'

"We need the help of the smartest people we know."