Wired Warrior Gifts

"Bless this mess: The beautifully tangled reasons you *still* wear wired headphones"

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Not that net!'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wifi in Hell

WiFi Signals

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Second lifeReal life.

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Can you debunk my essay?'

Internet Cafe.

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

Modern camping

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."