Wintry Wit Pillows

Snowman of the Apes

Snowprov

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

'Fancy a swift half?'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

"Good news - You can get wine in pints now! Bad news - It's British wine."

"What would you serve with toast?"

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

Snowman Romance

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

"They're bifocal glasses: I can use them to read as well as to see long distance when I'm charging..."

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

'Carl! You've got a flat.'

"Does state game law require me to tag him?"

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

Doctor to patient: 'Alcohol is fine, as long as you don't apply it internally.'

"Chef, one of the customers is asking where we pick our fresh fungi"

'What goes with burnt toast and watery eggs?'

"Looks like Grandpa filled the goldfish bowl with Mom's pinot grigio again."