Wintry Wit Pillows

Snowman of the Apes

Snowprov

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"No, Doris, not implants!"

The Frankenstein snowman.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

'Fancy a swift half?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"What would you serve with toast?"

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

Snowman Romance

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"Good news - You can get wine in pints now! Bad news - It's British wine."

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

"They're bifocal glasses: I can use them to read as well as to see long distance when I'm charging..."

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

'Carl! You've got a flat.'

"Does state game law require me to tag him?"

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

Doctor to patient: 'Alcohol is fine, as long as you don't apply it internally.'

"Wow, you got totally jacked!"

"Chef, one of the customers is asking where we pick our fresh fungi"