Winter Wits Pillows

"I think I just felt the first snowflake of winter."

Snowprov

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Snowman of the Apes

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

The Frankenstein snowman.

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"Frankly, I'm surprised that at your age you would even consider putting your tongue on a frozen metal pole!"

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

Snowman Romance

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

"Brrr! Lucky you, growing your own blanket!"

"Where's Timmy Turkey? He's missing out on a splendid Christmas feast!"

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"Philip Larkin wouldn't like you, either."

"The first winter is always the toughest."

"Solar diet."

'And do we really need scarves for warmth? And what's with the stove top hats?!'

A Snowman about to have some Snowflakes breakfast cereal

S is for snow

Recycled humor.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife -- the ball's in your court.'

Man goes to shovel walk and a snowman has done it already.

Santa Claus

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

'Carl! You've got a flat.'

'Whoa! Brain Freeze!'

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

150th Anniversary Civil War Reenactment. We're not big history buffs --- We just like saying "sesquicentennial"!

"Wow, you got totally jacked!"