Wintertime Giggler Pillows

'Honey... The old bag next door said I'm looking fat in white!'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Balding gnomes

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"The cookies are always stale."

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.