Winter Gatherings Gifts

Seven Layers.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Christmas Tree

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

The devil you know and his plus one

The prying mantis,

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

celebrating a birth.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"You two seem oddly suited."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Paul goes home for the holidays